Jeez, does it have to be so heavy…
It has been a while since you heard from me, and as the title might suggest, this is not going to be a light-hearted piece. But a very honest piece, sensitive and open and pragmatic.
And as you know, I am generally a positive person, so this will end up being quite a positive story! With a life lesson or more, as you’ve come to expect from me…
Now, of course, I could tell you a very nice and straightforward story, but that’s not how things were. There is no straight, linear story with a beautiful insight and that’s it. No, it was messy, painful, annoying for me and others, instructive, raw, hopeless, terrifying, beautiful and yet ultimately good. And so much more as it turns out.
I learned a lot of things and I will definitely share them with you, whether you like it or not…_) But not all at once.
Sometimes things happen in life that you hadn’t foreseen. Or things happen because you make a decision that has far-reaching consequences. Consequences that you don’t want at all… because nobody wants to be hurt. Nobody wants to deal with something they didn’t ask for. And especially not if it takes a long time. Whether you are going through a divorce, losing your job, your husband/wife/someone is cheating on you, you have to deal with illness, you have money worries or whatever. Or all at once….
And then what??
How do you carry on when there are moments when you think it’s all over for me? When everything seems too much and you don’t see a way out? You don’t know how to solve everything, how to put things right again. And everything you do fails completely. Nothing works. Absolutely nothing works. Pooh. What then?
And yes, I realise that this may be a heavy read but I also know that there are many people who have had these moments or are in the middle of them. Maybe some more than others.
As you can imagine, these moments have also passed with me. Fortunately, because otherwise I would not be writing this now. And I would not have been able to help other people with what I, unfortunately in a painful way, have learned.
The biggest lesson I have learned is that everything passes. Nothing stays the same, even if you don’t see it at the time. Everything is in motion. And the paralyzing feeling you have at that moment makes it seem as if there is no movement. At all. You don’t see things clearly, you don’t take steps, and you spin around like a hamster in its wheel. The trust to see beyond that moment is lost.
How can you have confidence when your whole life has collapsed like a house of cards and everything you try fails?
So what did I do?
Talking, looking for help, falling down and getting up again, a lot of digging into myself, yoga, walking, meditating and doing RTT sessions and especially when I didn’t feel like it. Just then. Especially then.
And then you see the ship slowly take a different course, your heavy days become less heavy. Beautiful things happen, but also less beautiful things. They become less and less of a burden. You start to recognise the bright spots. And you start to enjoy again. Of small things. The sun early in the morning in my garden. Enjoying a cup of coffee. Of work that comes your way. Of people who cross your path, who help you and give you a push. Just because they want to.
In the coming weeks, months and years I will share my lessons with you… my insights, my struggles and my results. My bloopers and my steps forward and also the beautiful things that happened to me or that I created myself. The path I am walking now.
Maybe nice for some, for others not what you are waiting for. That is all good.
And in this whole process, this difficult but enriching period, and by having experienced all this, I can honestly say that I have become a better coach/therapist. Everything has been in vain. Everything has a reason, and if the reason is that you are reading this now and you think “I feel something here and I would like to know more” then book a free insight session with me.